Because being someone’s everything is intoxicating stuff .
At least at first. When you met, he only had eyes for you. He called to say good morning. He called to say “I love you” at lunch. He wanted to be the last voice you heard before you went to sleep
Because these guys can be absolutely charming.
You didn’t fall in love with your boyfriend for no good reason. He can be charming. He can be romantic. He can say the things that every woman would like to hear
Because you don’t feel you deserve any better.
Maybe you grew up in a family where you were told that you were no good, ugly, clumsy, or incompetent
Because you don’t know any better.
All the women you grew up with were in abusive, difficult relationships. All your girlfriends complain about men who don’t do their share and who stopped being “Mr. Wonderful” long ago.
Because he scares you or manipulates you.
There are men who aren’t a bit subtle about their need for control. Try to leave and they threaten to hurt you or your kids or other people you care about.
Because you truly believe you can change him.
Because the relationship started out so wonderfully and because he can be so terrific after a fight, you hold onto the idea that you can bring out the best in him. All you have to do is find the right words and behave in the right way, and you’ll have the man of your dreams.
Because you are more afraid of being alone again than of being in a painful relationship.
You’ve been alone and it’s lonely. You want someone to talk to in the evening, to cuddle up to at night, to at least once in awhile take the kids.
Because you love him.
The most common answer I get when I ask women why they stay in bad relationships is “because I love him.” Love isn’t always rational, it’s true. There’s no accounting for chemistry. But the fact is that love, especially one-sided love, isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.